Dirty Jokes

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

Blonde Jokes

Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." 

Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door. 

Q. Why did the dumb blond keep failing her driver's test?
A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Funny Jokes

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

Lawyer Jokes